Sunday, March 21, 2004
Nvm... I can't change a person's perception of me by grumbling about it... just keep on reading my posts if you want to know me better... I tell you, it's not easy... sometimes, I don't even know why I do those things I do... I don't want to dwell on this any more... Now, onto the day's events... Went for a sea sports club meeting today... we're in charge of the alumni reunion dinner this year, so tried to get as many things in order as possible... and I'd say that we made quite good progress... settled a few things, found that we needed to ask Mr Chew first... So we're probably meeting him next Sat to settle some things... After that, we went to TM to eat lunch... Tried the Omelette Rice... Kinda nice... Hehe...
Then I went for CG at church... saw a cool BMW over there...Hehe... I just love cars... Hee... :D Anyway, during CG, we learnt about pain and suffering, and what it means... And I realised that there really are reasons for why things happen, even if they're bad... because ultimately, it's for the best... Try looking on the bright side when things like that happen, it could be worse... And I also realised that God put us through these things to strengthen us in faith and character... that's y I've always wondered what would have happened if I didn't react the way I did... or if I did tell that special someone the way I felt... Would my life have been any different? Any happier? Then I realised that we can only be happier after we weather through these trials and in doing so, discover what we're really capable of... That's y I always remember this quote... "The BIG things are gonna come, you can't stop that, but it's what you do after, that counts. That's when you find out who you really are."
Then I also thought of relationships... I've had many frens who tell me that relationships are stressing, full of questions and little answers, arguments and fights... sure, there are the good times, but the bad times really take the ufn out of relationships... if that is so, then y do we throw ourselves back into relationships time and time again?? Just to get hurt again, go through the same pain as the last time, the financial strain, mental strain... Most ppl should know what I mean... Esp those with numerous failed relationships... I can't say I'm really experienced, since I've only had one relationship and we parted on good terms... But after hearing about all my fren's experiences, I start to wonder... Is the path to a blissful and happy relationship always full of hurdles and trials? I guess Kev gave me part of the answer when he said that Love is Blind... When we're in a relationship, the love we have for our other half blinds us, so much that we're willing to stand anything trial, just so we can be together... but once that initial so-called honeymoon period is over, the reality starts to set in and you start to question why you two ever got together in the first place... Difference in goals, conflict of interests, conflict of social life... all this starts to appear and you really start to doubt that he/she really is the One... I guess that's y it's really called 'searching' for the right person... you can't just think the first one is the right one...
Sometimes, when other frens, esp male ones, see me with my female frens, they get the wrong idea that she's my gf... but that's not true... I myself feel that they're just good company and what's wrong with enjoying each other's company, even if that person is of the opposite sex? If I tried to make every girl I've gone out with my gf, I'd probably be in my 4th relationship now... but I'm still very single... just not that desperate... Probably cos I sort of fear starting another relationship again... Don't really think it's worth it if I can't see myself in a medium length relationship with the other person... I don't really like short term relationships of 1-2 months... kinda makes me look like a playboy if I had a string of short relationships... I don't feel that I'm that kind of person...
Anyway, I feel now that my JC maths teacher was right... Start looking for your other half when you're in the U... that's when you know more or less what kind of a girl you want... So right now... I'm not actively looking for anyone... I'll just go with the flow... Get to know more frens when I go to the Uni...
Hai~... I'm tired... Not to mention kinda depressed after writing about this... Being single is kinda lonely sometimes... Anyway, before I go, I have to write about this... I was on my way home in the MRT when I saw this old man in the train, don't think he was drunk, cos he was walking properly.. but he was talking to himself, and what he said wasn't really gibberish... I remember one phrase, 'Lust is one of the 7 sins,' and 'Don't think you do all this can make you a hero'. When the train came to the station, we walked to the door and asked the perosn standing there, ' Do you think the doors will open for me?' That is really some weird s**t... Didn't know what to make of it... What do you think?? ;)
you have just Slacked with Chris @ 1:41 AM
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