Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Working from home is totally different to working in a commercial building or whatnot... When you work outside of home, at least sometimes, you have the choice of not having to work WHEN you're home... but when you're working at home... EVERYTHING can be work for you... But then again... I did choose this path to walk on... so I'm not really complaining... I just have to keep at it... I know that sooner or later, things will start to pay off for me... and once they do, that's just gonna be the stepping stone to even greater things... so all I have to do is curb that impatience that crops up sometimes, just look ahead and move forward...
It's 3.20am... and I'm writing this cos I couldn't sleep... Been in a pensive mood again these few days... And not cos my darling computer (yes, that's the darling I'm referring to on my facebook.. lol...) got hit by a virus and I spent nearly 3 days repairing the damage... but rather... another kind of repair has been going on... one that's taken much longer, and will probably continue on for some time... It's this repairing that's made me pensive/reflective...
Sometimes, I do feel like I'm deliberately distancing myself... but at other times, I kinda feel that I actually can start to open up, only to catch myself doing it and trying to close up again... Guess its probably cos I don't like to get things wrong more than once... I know people say its good to learn from your mistakes, and I do subscribe to that too, just that... I find it pointless and a waste of time if you don't learn from your mistake the first time and continue to do the wrong thing, that will only invite more trouble...
I am learning from things that I did wrong, and sometimes, I may not have been the one who made that error, but the outcome wasn't what I really expected... And because of that, some small minute part of me, feels that if there was another opportunity, it should be taken to really do my best this time... Thats not to say that previous time wasn't my best, but maybe its just the choices I made... I did what I could have then, but the next time, it WILL be different, maybe better even...
I guess what's making me pensive is that I'm not sure if I'll ever encounter those so-called opportunities again... and it kinda irritates me that I might have wasted that opportunity... You know the saying, curiousity killed the cat, but then again, I'm not a cat, so I might not die...
I do admit though... I am not the person I once was when I started writing on this blog so long ago... and I do hope that I've become a better person after all these years... Sometimes I hear my inner self berating me, "You silly dunce, of course you've become better, what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger"...
Well... I can probably say that I've found the path I want to walk on, I may not have found all the people I can share this path with, but I know I'll find them eventually... I will not deviate from this path that I've envisioned, this is the biggest risk I've ever decided to take, and right now, there is no turning back... I will travel it till I reach my goals...
Heh... if only the other things in life were as easy as that eh.. Heh... Somehow I think choosing the path you want to take is the easiest thing one can do...
In the end, it all boils down to choice again... The word that I'm so familiar with, and that I carry with me all the time... Choice... Small word, but very powerful indeed...
you have just Slacked with Chris @ 3:02 AM
