Friday, April 27, 2007
In a bid to try to stay awake so I can finish my work... I shall blog a short post..
Ok.. done!! Not... Lol...
My last paper's in 5 hrs... and I've got 3 more topics to go... luckily I had to revise them for my CA 2 weeks ago... but this time, its essay... so got to remember more... argh... Hate it when exams are only about regurgitation... But... what to do... easiest way to set questions mah... lol...
Human Pharmacology... sheesh... Trying to remember all the drug names, what they do and their adverse effects... Yikes... Can really go brain dead... But its my last paper... and I'll do whatever it takes to get things done... including forgoing sleep... or very little sleep at least... Haha...
10 days or so of mugging... at least 10 cans of red bull and more than 1 ENTIRE new book of fullscap paper... and its come down to just this one last final exam... after that... its my B.sc... Lol...
Yup... I'm graduating!! Somehow, I feel a bit disappointed I couldn't do my Hons.. but then again... Life in NUS has gotten so stuffy and mundane and well... meaningless... in a way, I guess I'm not cut out to sit in a lab and do research... at least not here where the honours projects don't really interest me... Thinking back, there are a lot of things I gave up, or rather, should have done, but didn't... cos my priorities lay elsewhere... but I dun really regret those decisions... After all... everything's helped me put my path in perspective...
I was never really one to follow the crowd... in fact, come to think of it, I only wanted to do Hons cos most of my friends said they were doing, and of course, there's the money issue... Hons = extra money... lol..
But now... I find happiness in other things... twiddling around with my computer... dance has become quite a big part of my life, although I dun see myself doing this professionally, its something I wouldn't mind continuing to improve in... going out with friends has always been great... and there's always my car models, and go karting, and going for long drives, and scuba diving, and frisbee, and... and... just too many to write out... But I think you guys get the idea... It's the freedom to do what I want to do thats addictive... The fact that I don't have to give up anything that I want to do for anyone... and that I don't care what others say about what I do... I just do it... =)
No, I'm not plugging Nike... but it is a really good motto... After this paper, its time to sit down, plan out my future... and of course... what I aim to do with it.. Nothing's concrete yet... since some have to be placed on hold till the right opportunity arrives... But thats not gonna stop me from doing what I like to do... Kinda wish I could find a job that gives me the flexibility of planning my own schedule... Hehe..
Big ideas require big plans, and also, big ambitions... It won't be easy... but so far, my friends haven't stopped me once yet... everyone I've talked to have told me to go ahead... and well... only time will tell eh...
In the meantime... back to my books and Clorzapine, Imipenem, Losartan, Acarbose, Minoxidil, Sulpiride, Olanzapine, Rinatidine... blah blah blah... Ugh!!
you have just Slacked with Chris @ 4:39 AM
Monday, April 02, 2007
You think its childish and immature, go ahead... I don't believe that it's very "fun" to end up head down in a toilet bowl puking my guts out... I do however, believe in staying in control of my actions, wherever I am... Getting drunk and doing stupid things in that condition is NOT my idea of fun...
Last night was just a slight peek at how I can be like when I'm really over the edge... You don't want to see that... Why else do you think I keep it under strict control?? For fun??
Fyi, it was NEVER about just one blardy cup, as you put it... It was about being pushed to do what I DON'T like to do... I have my reasons for not wanting to get drunk... the least you could do was respect that... especially when we've been friends for so long... You of all people should know why I can't and don't want to drink so much...
I didn't go there just so I could drink and get drunk... I went there cos you, one of my closest friends, asked me to... Its always been good company with you... so I don't mind going... but it gets really annoying when the same thing always happens when I do go... You call it ribbing? There's a limit to that too... Once or twice is fine... too many times and it gets stale and seriously irritating... Do I look THAT pathetic to you that I need help in that department?? You don't see me doing that for you do you?
I seriously wonder whether you ask me down cos you value my company, or you just want to get me drunk and see what happens. Well.. got your wish yet? If you haven't noticed yet, I was nearly over my limit when it reached your so-called "only one blardy cup"... So guess what pushed it over? Not that cup that you keep mentioning... but the fact that you didn't know when to stop pushing when I said enough...
So what if I can't drink a lot? Looks pathetic to you issit? Too bad... I don't see "Being able to drink a lot" very high on my list of things to be...
You want to know how I feel sometimes? Like shit... I get high fast... but I also get hungover fast... that's one of the reasons why I don't drink a lot... cos I process alcohol damn fast... If I could hold my liquor, sure, I'd be happy to drink glass after glass with you... but I can't... my body doesn't allow for that... Thats why I choose to limit my drinking... cos I don't want to go home with a fucking headache and end up face down in the toilet bowl...
If you can't understand that, then just don't ask me down for drinks... I don't mind... we'll just stick to lunches and dinners... It's not about me being childish and immature about it...
Believe me, I HAVE matured... I am who I am... and I'm not about to let anyone tell me what I should or should not do... the choice to change is mine, and this time, I don't see a need to change... Why should I choose to drink so much and puke my guts out when I can still have my fun, drink lesser and go home just slightly tipsy, or sober even?
If you really value this friendship of ours, then understand what I've written... and respect my decisions... I've always respected yours, whether or not I agree with them entirely... If you don't want to ask me out for drinks, then fine... just don't expect me to do what you want me to do all the time... Favours are one thing... this is different... I am my own person... and no one will take that away from me again...
You said it before... I know quite well... and I could have made this a very ugly post indeed, but I chose not to... cos I'm not out to spoil our friendship, I'm just being honest with you... and telling you that I don't like what you did... It's not me... neither is it who I want to be...
You can't always have your way sometimes... especially when it comes to how people should be... call me out for dinner or something when you can... I'll still meet you... no drinks then no drinks, no loss for me...
Labels: choice
you have just Slacked with Chris @ 3:51 AM
