Monday, November 13, 2006
Hardly a word I've ever thought could be used to describe me... In fact, the only other time this word was used on me was in my report books back in pri and sec school...
Something just struck me when I heard myself being described as a responsible person a few days ago... It just made me think about whether I was really a responsible person...
Seriously... maybe only when friends are concerned.. If not, I wouldn't be procrastinating about my studies and blogging about this at 2 freaking am in the morning when I should be resting...
I have never thought of myself as a responsible person... I usually just feel that I do what has to be done... or sometimes, what SHOULD be done... As I think deep into the meaning of responsibility, it just strikes me that there's also the issue of being responsible for what??
As an individual, one is responsible for their own well being, their studies, and their own actions... Then I start to question whether I am actually doing that... taking care of my own well being, my studies and my actions...
Every action has its own consequence, whether good or bad, one that particular action is taken, consequence follows... Sometimes people just jump into things, wanting to do something so badly that they never stop to consider the consequences of their actions... I've seen many examples of that with my friends... all wishing they had 36 hrs a day, even maybe 48... and when the consequence of having too many responsibilities and commitments actually hits them, its too late... They've got to stick with that path and just weather it out...
My usual thought is, if one was expecting some kind of consequence early on before embarking on said action, shouldn't one also consider if the consequence that comes to pass can be taken up by one effortlessly?
Or is it a challenge to oneself, to see how much one can handle, both physically and mentally as well...
Responsibilities to oneself are simple to handle, its responsibilities to others that are harder... cos I don't want to let other people down... I don't deny, looking back, I've probably let down a number of people, but I realise that those incidents were there for me to learn from... to learn about responsibility, and maybe more...
Some responsibilities, we place on ourselves, even long after its not needed... others are placed on us by others... Those placed on us by others, shouldn't be taken lightly, since others are depending on us... But what then of those we place on ourselves? Responsibilities for our friends, our family members.. even a loved one...
I'm don't view myself as being responsible for the well being of my friends, they're old enough to take care of themselves... but rather, responsible for the things I do for them, if any... I want to make sure that when I do things for friends, they're done to the best of my ability... For family members, there is not contention... Family is what sustains you when you're lonely... I'll always be responsible for the well being of my family.. And since I don't really have any other loved one to be responsible for... I can't really say anything about that... I've come to realise that girls need a boyfriend, not a father... Care is one thing, excessive care is another... Even worse is unwanted care...
I don't really think I chose to be a responsible person... maybe that term just found me... like I said, I just do what ought to be done, or rather, should be done, according to my own principles...
I guess all these thoughts are somewhat incoherent... guess what I'm trying ask is... Is there such a thing as being responsible for one's actions, but not the consequences that follow?
Really wrong timing to be thinking of such stuff... but like so many other things in my life... its always come down to wrong timing...
you have just Slacked with Chris @ 2:43 AM
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